What did your mother say that made your jaw drop?

Do you know what she said mum?

Well the other day she came into my shop asking for the usual discount and mentioned that she had tickets for the wimbledon Tennis final but couldn’t go.

Well son “ I think I might have got you some tickets”

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What do you mean son?

So I said to my sister “ You mean to say that that you leave two empty seats rather than give them to your brother” I replied in astonishment. - “Well yes thats how it works in our circle!” responded my sister.

“Oh come off it mum what would be the point?”

If my heart stopped beating, would I have enough energy to walk out into the other room 20 ft away before I passed out and died?

About 30 years back, I was speaking with my mother.

Well I slept with the president of the Lawn tennis Association year ago, I think he may have remembered!!

“Mum why is my sister such a bitch!”

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True - how I loved my mum!

She said, “Oh no I can’t give you our tickets, if we can’t go, well we don’t go - it is just not done to give away final tickets.”

Well she is so snotty, O.K. she may have married a bit of money, I don’t know but she feels she is above everybody else.

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Oh I said, can my wife have them she would give her right arm to see a Wimbledon tennis final?

What! how could you do that?

My mother said to me “ Why didn’t you speak to me about this before”

I wore a Trump hat to a doctor’s visit. The doctor made a strange comment, he was obviously on the opposite political point that make me uncomfortable. What shall I do on my next visit?

What on earth has brought this on, said my mother?